06.04.06, 12:45 PM
Every few years my life goes through a major paroxysm. I never seem to realize it until I'm neck deep in cataclysmic change. Right now, I am in the midst of one of those times.
Unless something changes and quick I am going to be applying for permanent disability. Those myriad medical problems are wearing me out to the point where all I do is work and sleep. I shouldn't be working, but I have three children I love more than life that need that check I send out every month and I do have to eat, not to mention pay for about $150/month in perscriptions.
So what do I do in the meantime? Have a moral crisis, evidently. I don't question what I believe, because it is based on my experiences. What I believe checks with what I see and not because I want it to. But lately I've been wondering why no one else seems to see it, and why it is that no one wants to appreciate it. Religion is such a beautiful prison. It keeps us all seperated so well.
And as if that isn't enough, I am now questioning something that... well when that question wandered through my mind it shook me to the core. It rattled my cage in such a way as to... well it scared me. It still scares me. I'm not quite ready to share it yet, but when I do I suspect everyone will have all sorts of well meant crap to share, and that kinda scares me too.
Ah yes, the vortex. I'm just praying that this will be that one that doesn't drag me to the bottom of the river but to some magical world where my life doesn't suck.
Vacation 06.2 - 06.26.06
"Home" Vacation 06p1 - 06.25.06
Coffee and Bailey - 06.19.06
Who am I to say when it's fight is lost? - 06.18.06
My Bad Date - 06.12.06
Existential Fabrication
You were destined to have a Red Lightsaber. Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger,
strength, power, and determination as well as
passion and desire. You have seen the
Strength and Power of the Dark Side of the
Force and have you thirst for more of it.
What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
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Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting
but those thoughts you have in your mind
never stop flowing in. Sometimes you can be
so concentrated you forget about other things
that you have to do. Don't change, this world
needs deep people.
What Dark Word Represents You? [anime pics]
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